Maintaining a healthy intimate relationship contributes positively to our well-being. Nevertheless, the COVID-19 pandemic has significantly challenged many partnerships.
As noted by Dr. Lisa Destun, a clinical psychologist based at Old North Psychology in London, Ontario, “Couples have been deprived of activities that we once took for granted, such as dining out or traveling, which traditionally provided crucial moments to unwind and reconnect.”
With the addition of a shared home office, financial pressures, and managing home-schooling, couples may find themselves facing increased boredom, irritability, and conflict. In extreme cases, these issues may even push some to the brink of separation. Experts across Canada and the US anticipate that divorce rates will rise significantly in the wake of this challenging year.
Managing Relationship Strain
The pressures stemming from the pandemic can lead partners to either withdraw emotionally or react negatively towards each other—actions that can severely harm the relationship. It’s essential for couples to regularly assess their relationship and their own emotional states before reaching a breaking point.
Assess Your Relationship
Just like we routinely maintain a vehicle, assessing the state of our relationship is crucial. Dr. Destun suggests checking in on various aspects such as affection, sexual intimacy, communication, shared responsibilities, quality time together, and financial matters.
Prioritize Self-Care
Before the pandemic, individuals often had more solitude—whether it was during solitary commutes, gym sessions, or casual interactions at work. Dr. Destun points out that it’s easy to underestimate how important this alone time is for personal well-being. Therefore, even if in-person activities like yoga are unavailable, finding alternative methods for self-rejuvenation is vital.
Reconnect in Simple Ways
Fortunately, improving a relationship does not require extravagant expenses. Research from Penn State University illustrates that small gestures—including holding hands and kind acts—are crucial for expressing love. Below are some straightforward methods to recharge your partnership.
Dedicate Real Time for Conversation
In the chaos of everyday life, many couples neglect deeper conversations, often discussing only mundane topics. Dr. Destun advises setting aside time each day for a screen-free, kid-free chat to foster connection and stability, whether it’s over morning coffee or an evening walk.
Encourage Affection
Research indicates that physical affection can yield numerous benefits for couples, such as boosting oxytocin levels—the “love hormone”—and reducing cortisol, the stress hormone. Furthermore, regular affectionate contact enhances emotional security and positivity within the relationship.
Explore New Activities
Engaging in new experiences stimulates the brain’s reward system, leading to an influx of dopamine— a neurotransmitter associated with pleasure, much like the feelings experienced in early romantic relationships. Trying out a new language or sport together can reignite the thrill of new love.
Consider Professional Help
Dr. Destun suggests couples should consider therapy if arguments are fruitless: if resolutions are seldom achieved, or if disagreements escalate to the point of becoming the issue itself. Furthermore, if disengagement has replaced conflict, therapy can help couples prioritize re-establishing a deeper connection.
