Aditi Subramaniam’s emotions sank deeper with each scroll through her social media feeds. Whether it was a post announcing a colleague’s promotion on LinkedIn or photos from a friend’s luxurious vacation on Instagram, the constant exposure to the polished lives projected by others led her to harshly judge her own experiences. After multiple attempts to reduce her online presence, her feelings culminated in a transformative decision—to abandon social media entirely.
“Being on social media made me realize how dissatisfied I felt with my own life,” shared Subramaniam, a neuroscientist residing in the Greater Seattle area. “I found myself in a constant state of comparison with others.”
In an age where nearly every Canadian dedicates about two hours daily to social media, understanding the implications of this screen time on one’s daily reality becomes crucial. Is it a source of motivation or a source of despair?
Understanding Comparison
In his acclaimed book, The Happiness Trap, psychotherapist Russ Harris explores the roots of comparison, tracing it back to the dawn of humanity. He explains that early humans depended on communal support to navigate threats from predators and environmental challenges, often using comparison as a means to fit in and ensure acceptance within their groups.
While prehistoric individuals had few peers to measure against, today’s social media landscape offers an expansive array of comparison choices at our fingertips. Coupled with our evolutionary inclination to compare, Harris argues that it’s understandable why many struggle with feelings of inadequacy.
“What chance do we really have?” he questions, noting that this leads to a perpetual sense of not measuring up.
Three Types of Comparison
What kind of comparison do you find yourself engaging in the most?
|
Type of Comparison |
Characteristics of Comparison |
|
Upward social comparison |
Comparing oneself to someone perceived as superior. |
|
Downward social comparison |
Comparing oneself to someone viewed as inferior. |
|
Lateral social comparison |
Comparing oneself to others perceived as equals. |
Not All Comparison is Detrimental
A desire to delve into the relationship between social media use and self-image motivated PhD candidate Carly Parsons to study the effects of social anxiety and Instagram comparisons.
“Many of us have felt the dip in our mood or confidence while online,” states Parsons, a clinical psychology doctoral student at the University of British Columbia. “It became essential to investigate how our engagement with these platforms affects us emotionally.”
Participants in her study were asked to provide insights on their self-image before, during, and after viewing eight influencer profiles on Instagram. Results indicated that individuals with heightened social anxiety experienced a significant drop in self-perception while engaging with these profiles, leading to reduced mood and self-esteem once the study concluded.
However, the findings did not advocate an outright rejection of social media. Participants with minimal social anxiety reported a slight increase in their self-perception.
“Without the burden of social anxiety, it’s possible to feel inspired by those who lead successful or aspirational lives,” she explains.
Parsons notes that these varying emotional impacts might relate to a person’s social comparison orientation, which indicates how frequently one compares themselves to others. Those with social anxiety are more inclined to engage in these comparisons and face negative repercussions as a result.
Positive Engagement Strategies
User interactions on social media can modulate emotional reactions. Active participation, such as messaging or commenting, often correlates with positive emotions and feelings of connection. Conversely, passive activities like endless scrolling are frequently linked to feelings of stress, isolation, and depression.
To foster a healthier relationship with social media, Parsons encourages users to rediscover the platforms’ intended purpose.
“Social media is crafted to facilitate social connections,” Parsons emphasizes. “We should leverage this in a more constructive manner by genuinely engaging with others.”
Rebalancing Life
After taking a year-long break, Subramaniam has returned to social media, but this time, she approaches it with a much more measured perspective.
“Although I’m back, my usage is now more intentional, and I feel I have found a healthier equilibrium,” she reveals. “My focus has shifted towards living in the present and creating memories for myself and my family, rather than curating experiences for an imaginary audience.”
The Highlight Reel of Life
Parsons encourages individuals to remember that social media only showcases a fraction of a person’s reality.
“When I post, it typically highlights exciting events or enjoyable meals, omitting the hours spent at my desk or the more challenging moments,” she notes. “Yet, when scrolling through others’ profiles, I often forget that what I see is not the entirety of their journey.”
This article first appeared in the March-April 2025 edition of Thewindowsclubs magazine (US edition).
