Talking to Kids about Mental Health: Expert Tips

Discussing mental health can be challenging, but it is essential for normalizing feelings and enhancing connections with those around us, including children. Open dialogues between parents and their kids about sensitive issues correlate with improved overall well-being for children. Everyday moments, such as car rides or after-school chats, can serve as comfortable opportunities for these crucial conversations.

For valuable expertise, we consulted with Jalene Davies, a clinical counselor from BC with over 15 years of experience in assisting adults in understanding children. She provided key strategies for engaging conversations with children and adolescents about significant life events and their effects on mental well-being.

Life transitions, such as changing schools or welcoming a new sibling, can greatly affect a child’s mental health. If you find your child reluctant to talk, Davies suggests maintaining a calm and relaxed demeanor, explaining, “Parents should be conscious of how their anxiety may influence the interaction before they even begin the conversation.”

Casual environments, like during car drives, can facilitate discussions with kids who are less inclined to open up, allowing for a more natural flow of conversation.

With over 70% of Canadian youth reporting experiences of bullying, it is vital for parents to broach this subject with their children. Whether concerned about a child being bullied or wanting to discuss the impact of their own behavior, Davies advises prioritizing inquiry over immediate solutions.

Here are some suggested questions to facilitate the discussion:

• “I noticed there seems to be some tension between you and a classmate on the playground. How do you feel about that?”

• “Have you shared this with anyone?”

• “Do you feel prepared to handle it?”

Davies emphasizes the importance of providing support rather than rushing to solve the issue: “Our goal should be to empower our children to find their own solutions.”

Puberty brings a host of physical changes, but emotional shifts accompany them as well. This period can introduce social pressures and fluctuating hormone levels, leading to anxiety, mood swings, and depression.

If you observe that your child is having a tough time, Davies suggests reminding them that such changes are entirely normal. Often, children may feel isolated or “weird,” so reassuring them that mental health fluctuations are common can help alleviate their concerns.

As children mature, they may encounter peers who are experimenting with substances, including alcohol and cannabis. Data from the 2021-2022 Canadian Student Tobacco, Alcohol and Drugs Survey indicates that 29% of students in grades 7 to 12 confessed to trying e-cigarettes, while 39% acknowledged consuming alcohol in the past year, and 18% reported using cannabis.

Should your child already be involved with substances, unraveling the reasons behind their choices is vital. Davies points out that for many youth, substance use can be a quest for acceptance or a way to cope with underlying issues.

It’s crucial for parents to explore the root causes of such behaviors to offer appropriate support. “If your child is self-medicating for various reasons, we want to support them in that journey,” notes Davies.

Along with the challenges of social integration that school entails, students often face academic expectations. There are two extremes: perfectionist students who place excessive demands on themselves and those who struggle to keep pace academically.

For the perfectionists, it’s essential to validate their feelings and acknowledge their achievements rather than belittling their stress. Conversely, for children who find academics challenging, Davies recommends identifying their strengths—whether they are visual learners or talented in sports—and utilizing these assets to propel their academic progress, potentially enlisting the help of a tutor.

As the saying goes, it takes a village to nurture a child, which is why it’s crucial to seek assistance from professionals for any matters related to your child’s mental health.

Davies underscores that while it’s essential for parents to feel equipped to support their children, “seeking guidance from outside sources is equally important.”

If your child’s challenges begin to impede their daily activities, Davies advises that it’s a clear indication that professional help should be sought.