While it’s impossible to shield children from grief, being present alongside them during their sorrow can provide invaluable support. Every child encounters loss, whether it’s a close friend, a cherished pet, or significant belongings. Some may face debilitating health challenges, while others witness the suffering of loved ones. Additionally, moving to a new home or school represents a significant shift that can evoke feelings of loss and grief.
How can you assist your children in their healing journey? Here are some practical and inspirational strategies organized into five categories—spirit, heart, soul, body, and mind—to offer diverse methods for coping with loss.
Grieving is a highly individual experience, yet a sign of healthy mourning for both children and adults is the capacity to feel and articulate sadness, confusion, and fear. Confronting the emotional turmoil that comes with loss can be daunting, but working through grief is a crucial step toward recovery. Embracing emotions—rather than suppressing them—plays a pivotal role in this process and ultimately aids in alleviating grief.
Spirit
A connection to a higher power serves as a source of strength for many, especially during periods of grief. Faith can instill comfort and hope in otherwise somber circumstances.
Encourage your children to explore and express their spiritual beliefs. If discussing spirituality feels difficult, seek out trustworthy individuals, literature, or resources that can help address their questions. Allow your children to grieve in ways that resonate with them, even if their methods differ from yours.
Heart
“Kids don’t always want to open up to adults about their feelings,” shared 10-year-old Jessie after experiencing a family loss, “but they need to express what they feel. Being around other kids who understood my grief was really comforting.”
A grief support group provided Jessie with a sense of community and reassurance. Through creative activities and discussions, she found a space to unwind and briefly feel relief from her sadness.
Connecting your children with peers who are also navigating loss can forge meaningful relationships outside the family unit. This interaction can mitigate feelings of isolation, build confidence, and facilitate self-expression in ways that may not occur at home.
For instance, Camp Kerry, a nonprofit focused on bereavement support, offers programs designed to foster group activities and community engagement, assisting children and families in their healing journeys.
Soul
While death concludes a life, it doesn’t sever the bond shared with the deceased. Honoring past connections—whether with people, pets, or places—is a healthy avenue for processing grief and cherishing memories. Many find solace in creative expression through writing, storytelling, or art, as these outlets keep the essence of loved ones alive.
“One of our family’s traditions is making a memory lantern,” explains Dr. Heather Mohan, executive director of the Camp Kerry Society. “We discuss our loved ones, then decorate a lantern with photos, paint, and other materials to symbolize their presence. This activity can be tailored to fit families’ desires.”
Such initiatives can easily be executed at home and incorporated into larger healing rituals with family members.
Body
“Especially for preteens and teens, fitting in with peers is crucial,” comments Mohan. “They might shy away from open grieving if it makes them feel distinct from other children.” She remarks that one of the prevalent emotional struggles in grieving is feelings of loneliness and separation.
Even adolescents who may not be inclined toward grief groups or family camps still require a means to process their emotions. Engaging in group activities can reveal to them that they are not alone in their experiences, fostering a sense of normalcy.
Consider enrolling your family in team sports or participating in community efforts aligned with your experiences. For example, your family could join a charity walk or marathon benefiting research or animal welfare organizations.
Such shared endeavors foster a sense of community and purpose, directing youthful energy and emotions toward meaningful outcomes. Furthermore, physical activity boosts the release of happiness-inducing hormones—endorphins, dopamine, and serotonin—beneficial for uplifting spirits.
Mind
Experiencing loss can feel surreal, as life continues, yet everything feels altered. Families still must manage obligations like school, work, and chores. Grief can instigate confusion and emotional instability. Many express the sensation of “losing their mind.”
Engage your children in conversations about the perplexing emotions associated with loss. By sharing your own feelings, you create a safe space for them to express their thoughts. Consider exploring various mourning practices from different cultures or discussing the distinctions between funerals and celebrations of life.
“Encourage open exchanges about feelings and cherished memories related to loved ones,” advises Mohan. “Ensure children recognize that they’re not responsible for your emotional well-being. Reassure them that there are adults available to support everyone. Acknowledge that together as a family, you will navigate this journey and support each other as much as possible.”
Children each cope with grief uniquely, yet they possess remarkable resilience. They are innately equipped to endure and flourish even in the face of adversity—just like you. Take the time to traverse this challenging experience, and trust in the growth and new beginnings that lie ahead for your family.
